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was immune

I went to the outdoor courtyard today
the first time in i don’t know how many years

i used to sit there, in the mornings
drinking coffee, writing, reading

and he would come up and sit there with me
and draw

it’s the first time i’ve been there
since he turned on me

i knew him
and i knew he had the potential

potential for being a monster
i had heard the stories before

stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars
in merchandise

been in a gang
drove someone’s mercedes over a cliff

but I thought I was immune
to his violence

I thought I could change him
I thought he cleaned up his act

I thought I could be safe
alone with him

a thief
an addict
a molester

I knew him, but I thought I was immune
and now

I see all the places
and they make me think of him

and they make me cry

Copyright Janet Kuypers.
All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.

Blister and Burn, Janet Kuypers 2007 book