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Someone Give Me the Answers

September 7, 1998

I don’t think I can respect
people
Can anyone give me
the answers I’ve been looking for
I’ve been looking, and none of the
solutions are coming to me

Have I been taught to be so different
from the rest of the world
Maybe I have been            Maybe I’m the

one with the different answers,
and maybe I don’t know where to begin.
And maybe no one can help me through this

My dictionary is older than my schooling
and my encyclopedia set is older than I am

I’ve been looking for answers to what
I thought were simple questions and the
people who are supposed to be smarter
than I am never have the answers for me

I’ve talked to a lot of people in my
lifetime, and with each day that passes I
lose more respect for the people I’ve known

This doesn’t seem like a fair thing for me
to admit

I mean, to hear a woman complain
about how awful everyone else is isn’t
nice, fair or reasonable

Maybe I’ve just had some bad breaks

I don’t
know what my excuses are, or what my reasons
are--but the problem is that I don’t think anyone
has a reason for the majority of the actions
they engage in

Or should I say commit instead of engage in

I can’t even finish a sentence and I’m
expecting finished sentences and sense and
answers from all of the people I’ve already
lost so much faith in

But that’s enough about me
I’ll get back to a more
interesting subject right away

I was recently in the hospital for 6 weeks
When
I regained consciousness,
I was given the same meal three
times a day
Most every day I slept in the hospital,
I was physically strapped to my bed so that
I wouldn’t fall out of bed
while trying to escape

This is not meant as my defense against anyone’s
actions, my own or others

This was not an
uncommon occurrence for my treatment
I don’t
know how anyone else was treated,
but I am guessing

I was one of at least 20 patients in the same institution,
in the same ward, with the same teachers

Take from this what you will

Sometimes the answers don’t come easy

The
answers haven’t come to me for quite a while

not
since my accident, or since my hospital visits

Not since most of my school days
or since a lot of
my friendships

Maybe the events in my life haven’t
given me the answers
but maybe the events in

everyone’s life also have missing answers.

I don’t know where the answers are
I don’t know where
my answers were
I’ll try to find the answers one day,
and if anyone can help me, let me know

***

edited:

my dictionary is older than my schooling
my encyclopedia set is older than I am

I’ve been looking for answers to what
I thought were simple questions and the
people who are supposed to be smart
never have the answers
and never seem to know

when I regained consciousness,
I was given the same meal three times a day
I was physically strapped to my bed

the answers haven’t come to me for quite a while
not since my hospital visits
or my school days
or my friendships

someone give me the answers
I don’t know where the answers are


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