Stairs
(j.k. and j.y.)
I’m sick of these stairs
that I keep having to take
I keep having to climb up,
and I keep getting nowhere
twisting around in a spiral I rise
like the wrought iron balusters,
that need the rust cleaned off and
a fresh coat of paint
there are so many things that I need
and I’m wondering if scraping off the damage
is enough
or if trying to cover up what has been done
is enough
if this rising is enough
because I’m beginning to wonder
if anything from what I do is enough
won’t somebody tell me
will anyone tell me
somebody somewhere
come please, and help me
the leaden weight keeps dragging me down
I’ve been looking for someone
and I don’t think anyone has the answers for me anymore
because I think I know what I’m doing
and no one has been able to make it better so far
scraping and painting I’ve got to keep going
to keep these stairs in repair
I’ve found underneath the strength and the beauty
that put these stairs in here
with each stroke of the brush my load’s getting lighter
the burden easier to bear
I look below and see that I’ve fixed
the broken down, the rusted-out tiers
it is beginning to become more amazing to me
all that I can see below
all that I have managed to overcome
all that I have gone through
and
and I know I have made it past a lot
and I wonder if I am going to be lucky enough
to make it to the top of these damn stairs
and I will have a great view
from the top
and no one else will get to see this view with me?
with me
and my paint scrapers
my buckets of paints and brushes
I look and I see others below me struggling with their own loads
some scraping
some painting
on the same stairwell
and I’ve got to tell them
it is hell to do it
it’s not fun, I’ll admit it
but when you count all the chips
at the end of the game of stairs
you’ll have the most pieces
you’ll be the winner
and if you have to stand there alone
at least you’ll know that you made it
and you know,
I know it’s hell
but you’ve got to keep telling yourself
that each step
each stair
is worth it
so I’ll scrape and I’ll climb
I’ll paint
climb some more
I’ve been told there is happiness
happiness somewhere
if I only can make it
if only I can take it
take the pain of climbing these stairs
Copyright Janet Kuypers.
All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.
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