Wedding Ceremony

Janet Kuypers and John Yotko on 05/07/00

Enjoy the May 7, 2000 ceremony recording of a song sung and a bride and groom reading from the wedding of John Yotko and Janet Kuypers.

Click here for a May 7, 2000 ceremony recording of the pronouncement of marriage and the kiss from the wedding of John Yotko and Janet Kuypers.

Minister’s Message and Greeting     Family and friends, welcome! We are here today not just to witness, but to fully participate in thought and intention, each of us extending your best wishes to John and Janet as they make the commitment to spend their life together. Parents     Mr. & Mrs. Kuypers and Mr. & Mrs. Yotko, this is an important day for you. Without you there would be no John and Janet, it is because of you that they are here , and today your families will become joined in a very significant way, while both families expand to include an additional member, a new family is created. And so I ask:     Mr. and Mrs. Yotko, Who gives this man to this woman?     Mr. and Mrs. Kuypers, Who gives this woman to this man? roses and the giving of gifts     Janet and John, in honor of a gift-giving tradition stemming from the Renaissance period of giving gifts to their families as a gesture of good will, Janet and John gave gifts they have made to their parents. And in remembrance and wishing to thank their mothers with a rose, the symbol of unity, for creating these lives, we have a rose for the mothers today. Words from the Officiate     Becoming a couple brings two people into a unique relationship. In their union they share experiences as if they were one. Yet we need to remember that genuine love allows for individuality.         John, Janet is making a free and loving gift of herself to you. Cherish her, that in your love she may see herself as she truly is - a strong and beautiful woman. Janet, John is making a free and loving gift of himself to you. Love him. Accept him for who he is, and always see the good in him.     I ask both of you, that in this moment, you forgive each other for any past hurts or misunderstandings, and enter this union with open minds and hearts. Today you are given the opportunity to begin your lives anew.     John and Janet, today you are making an agreement to share each other’s responsibilities. Janet, from this point forward, John’s needs will be seen as being as important as your own. And, John, as of this moment, Janet’s needs will carry the same priority as your needs. You are not two conflicting or competing forces. The two of you are ONE couple, living in support of each other. ceremony of the candles     Two separate candle flames have been lighted to represent the lives of Janet and John until this moment. They are two distinct lights, each capable of going their separate ways. To bring bliss and happiness to their home, there must be a merging of these two lights into one light. From now own the thoughts these two have shall be for each other rather than for their individual selves. Their plans shall be mutual; their joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. As Janet and John take their candles and light this candle together, they will extinguish their own candles, thus letting the center candle represent the union of Janet and John into one flesh. As this one light cannot be divided, neither shall their love for each other be divided. song     Eugene Peppers sings, and Warren Peterson plays the acoustic guitar, performing excerpts from the song “The Bottom Line”. Like a cat dragged in from the rain who goes straight back out to do it all over again, I’ll be back for more. It’s something that is out of our hands, something we will never understand - it’s a hidden law. The apple falls, destiny calls - I fall in love with you. Like a pawn on the eternal board who’s never quite sure what he’s moved towards, I walk blindly on. The river flows, the wise man knows - I fall in love with you. Like a moth on love’s bright light, I will get burned each and every night - I’m dying to. The sun will shine, the bottom line - I fall in love with you. A Reading     Janet Kuypers and John Yotko will immediately follow the song by reading an original passage. see video of most of the reading at Poetry Visualized looking back, we didn’t know we needed each other we didn’t know we’d be each other’s salvation we didn’t know we’d be helping each other we were giving without taking and we didn’t even know it we didn’t know it would seem so obvious to be together we just did what was right Watch this YouTube video of this portion, read live on her wedding day (May 7, 2000) all this time I’ve been playing a part an actor on a stage, spouting lines on cue the role was getting tiresome but those stage lights still came on and I still had to play my part until I saw your performance and I liked to see that boiling emotion underneath in you that no one else could see and you know, we could write our own play it would be a masterful performance, you know when I walk out on to the set there you stand, in front, stage left as I wait for my cue to make my move none of the rest of the scene matters to me, you know maybe they’d like our little play, maybe they wouldn’t who really cares because you now tell me everything I was too afraid to believe and show me the knowledge that always escaped me when you talk you reach your hand into my brain and pull out my thoughts and shove them into your mouth and spit them back at me so now I wait for you to come on stage again where you tell me what I already know - when i was a boy i learned how to take my first steps i learned what things would mean to me i learned how not to get hurt and every step gave me more knowledge as with every journey in life setting off on this journey together i never knew when, or if, i would take that step to fall in love. not searching for love, i seemed to avoid it, but somehow, love found me. it came in the form of a person who is like me in so many ways who in many ways is my compliment. now that you are here i think of the hole that would be left inside of me if you weren’t here to fill it. Watch this YouTube video read live on her wedding day (May 7, 2000) when people complain that the grass is always greener on the other side well, maybe I should learn to like the view from this side because at least I get to see the green grass ’cause maybe this SIDE ain’t so bad and you know, it occurred to me that maybe there is someone out there like me a couple of days ago john gave me some roses an even half dozen, something that didn’t even need to be wrapped by the florist but john had an answer for me he told me that he gave me five roses for the five days he had known me and the sixth one well, was just for me because I deserved it and those were the words he used and yeah, I could go on and on and on but for now for now I’m stuck in this happy mode remembering what it’s like where the grass is greener and well, being happy that I can almost touch that green grass now Watch this YouTube video read live on her wedding day (May 7, 2000) you like to brush off everything, say that you can do everything, you never let people know when something hurts. when you struggled,           (I never wanted to tell you this,) that scared me because i wanted to know that everything was fine. I don’t want to scare you with these details because I can’t say I know what you’ve gone through but, for me, well, it still scares me even though I want to know when things aren’t okay I want to be the one to make thing okay there’s only so much I can do, but I’ll do it you’ve done so much you’ve taken the world on your shoulders some times so now, let it be my turn. Vows     As they look forward to the years they have with each other, John and Janet will now share vows that express their commitment to one another.     Bride: I accept you as my husband, my partner, my lover and my true friend. I promise to honor you as an individual, respect you as a partner, and to support all that you do. I will love and support you through all that our life together may bring. I am committed to you and to our marriage. These are my vows to you, spoken in the presence of this company.     Groom: I accept you as my wife, my partner, my lover and my true friend. I promise to honor you as an individual, respect you as a partner, and to support all that you do. I will love and support you through all that our life together may bring. I am committed to you and to our marriage. These are my vows to you, spoken in the presence of this company. Rings     These rings are an outward and visible sign of your commitment to one another. The diamond, a symbol of matrimonial happiness, will give you courage to protect you. In the years to come, when you are feeling angry or hurt, touch this ring, the gift placed on your finger today. Let these rings remind you that love is not a test. Love is an infinite cycle of day and night, joy and sorrow, passion and patience, all flowing into the perfect circle, like these rings, that makes life precious.     Janet, place this ring on John’s finger and repeat after me: “Accept this ring as an outward side and a symbol of my everlasting love for you and my eternal commitment to our relationship.”     John, place this ring on Janet’s finger and repeat after me: “Accept this ring as an outward side and a symbol of my everlasting love for you and my eternal commitment to our relationship.” The Pronouncement     John and Janet, by the authority of this state and in the presence of these witnesses I pronounce and declare you to be husband and wife. The Kiss     Ladies and Gentlemen it is my honor and privilege as the presiding officinal to introduce to you, for the first time, Mr. & Mrs. John and Janet Yotko. customs and traditions:     Why Carry the Bride Across the Threshold? In earlier times, it was believed that family demons followed the woman and to keep her family demons from going into the groom’s home, she was carried across the threshold upon her entering for the first time.     Why a Wedding Ring? The circular shape of the wedding ring has symbolized undying, unending love since the days of the early Egyptians. The Romans also symbolized the permanence of marriage. Today’s favorite is of course, gold, with it’s lasting qualities of beauty and purity.     What is the history of the Veil? The veil is like the wrapping of a present, and if the bride lifts the veil after the ceremony, presenting herself to him, she is showing her independence.     Why Does the Bride Wear White? The color white has been a symbol of joyous celebration since early Roman times.     Why Something Blue? Ancient Israel brides wore blue ribbons on their wedding to denote love and modesty. Blue also denotes the purity of the Virgin Mary. traditions in other countries:     Holland: A canopy of fragrant evergreens meaning “everlasting love” was where the bride and groom would sit following their ceremony to receive best wishes and gifts from their friends.This is part of the reason why Kuypers and Yotko had evergrees around the edge of thir Sake table during their ceremony.     Poland: Today, their custom is more popularly known as the “money dance” and money may be given to both the bride and groom in payment for dancing with them.     China: Red is the color of “Love and Joy” in China.     France: A lovely custom comes in the form of a two handled cup called the “coup de marriage”. Of course, the custom has long been established of drinking a toast to one another, but the two handled cup adds a special touch to the weddings of today. Drinking from the same cup denotes “togetherness”. Japan:     The most important and historical change in the Japanese marriage system is said to have been made from the “Muko-iri” practice for a bridegroom to enter the family of his aimed-at bride to the “Yome-iri” system for a bride to be accepted into her bridegroom’s home. “Yui-no” is a derived form of “Ii-ire" meaning “to apply”. It is said also to mean for families to be united in marriage to dine and drink together. In any case it is an important function in betrothal in Japan. At “Yui-no” gifts are exchanged between the bridegroom-to-be and bride-to-be. The “Yui-no” gifts include as many as nine items of happiness and fortune, if formally prepared, in addition to the “Obi” and “Hakama”.     Sake must always be shared in company with others. The tiny porcelain cups called “choku” have been used in the past two hundred years.     The “San-San-Kudo” or ceremony of the Three-Times-Three Exchange of nuptial cups is then performed by the bridegroom and bride. The exchange of wedding rings is also a popular practice today.     Drinks of “Sake” are then exchanged between members and close relatives of the both families to signify their union through the wedding.     The Shinto wedding is accompanied by the traditional music and attended by “Miko” maidens who serves “Sake” in red and white dresses.     There were the sake cups on a table. Just as the exchanging of the wedding bands is the symbol of the marital pledge in a western wedding, the exchange of sake or sansan kudo between the bride and groom in the Shinto ceremony, acts as the same.     Long ago, sake played an important role in tying together the gods and common people. Therefore, one would never drink alone, but always in groups. There are now many old customs which have lost their meaning or popularity, but the drinking of sake at wedding ceremonies, known as “Sansankudo no sakazuki” continues to thrive even in our modern culture. “Sansankudo no sakazuki” brings the gods in between humans to help them, through the sharing of sake, come closer together and create a bond of friendship.     The bridal couple in Japan takes nine sips of sake, becoming husband and wife after the first sip. They will set across the table from each other, looking directly into the eyes of the other, each taking a sip at the same moment, being very careful to set the cup down on the table at the same exact moment. The purpose of this is to keep one from dying before the other. The tradition being, that the person’s cup is set on the table last will be the first to die. This is why Kuypers and Yotko had the Sake table in their ceremony, while a song was played before they lit their Unity Candle.

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