[the Writing of Kuypers]    [JanetKuypers.com]    [Bio]    [Poems]    [Prose]


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Watch this YouTube video
live at the show Questions in a World Without Answers 10/05/04, Chicago
video video watch the full Questions in a World Withough Answers video live, including this poem in Chicago 10/05/04 (~21:56)
Listen mp3 file Live at the Cafe,
now available in a 3 CD set
Listen mp3 file to the DMJ Art Connection
the poetry audio CD set etc.
Order this iTunes track: Janet Kuypers - Etc - Scars 2000
from the poetry audio CDetc.
...Or order the entire CD set
from iTunes

CD: Janet Kuypers - Etc
Listen: (4:02) mp3 file
to this recording from Fusion
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See YouTube video of Kuypers reading verses 1 and 3 of her poem Scars 2000 live 6/5/13 as the intro to the open mic the Café Gallery in Chicago (Sony)
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See YouTube video of Kuypers reading verses 1 and 3 of her poem Scars 2000 live 6/5/13 as the intro to the open mic the Café Gallery in Chicago (Canon)
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See YouTube video
of Kuypers hosting the open mic 6/5/13 at Gallery Cabaret’s the Café Gallery in Chicago, which contains this writing
video See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her Scars 2015 medley (based on parts of the prose poem Scars and the poems Scars 1997 and Scars 2000 10/6/15 at Quenchers open mic in Chicago (Cfs)
video See YouTube video
of Janet Kuypers reading her Scars 2015 medley (based on parts of the prose poem Scars and the poems Scars 1997 and Scars 2000 10/6/15 at Quenchers open mic in Chicago (Cps)
video
See YouTube video (Cfs)
of Janet Kuypers reading 5 poems: Once Wanted You as my Friend, Escaping Every Cage, and a Scars medley (based on parts of the prose poem Scars and the poems Scars 1997 and Scars 2000, then Too Far and Children, Churches and Daddies 10/6/15 at Quenchers open mic in Chicago
video
See YouTube video (Cps)
of Janet Kuypers reading 5 poems: Once Wanted You as my Friend, Escaping Every Cage, and a Scars medley (based on parts of the prose poem Scars and the poems Scars 1997 and Scars 2000, then Too Far and Children, Churches and Daddies 10/6/15 at Quenchers open mic in Chicago

Scars 2000

“Find What’s Wrong”

I

An Admiral, A General
            A high-ranking military official
when you get somewhere in the military
when you grease the right wheels
when you climb the corporate ladder
when you get as high as you can

when you make your graceful exit
when you’ve been adorned with pins
                                                            and medals
                                                            and badges of honor
and you’ve got all your stripes on your sleeve

when you accomplish it all
and when you retire

well, then what?

II

the effects of age are getting to me

my vision is shot to hell
my contacts kill me and
    my glasses are so old
    they’re only half the strength of my prescription
so when i look at things
    i notice the blur more than
    i notice the detail

my senses of taste and smell are shot to hell
    i throw so much garlic on food for flavor
    that i offend my friends and family
    and i can’t even smell
    when i smell
i mean, cologne is lost to me

my one ear is closed most of the time
    and it feel like i’ve got water in my ear
    and it hurts for me
    to hear myself even breathe
damnit, i can’t even sing any more
    and do one of the things
    i actually like to do
i try to hear beautiful sounds
    but people are usually talking over it instead
    and all i can hear
    is their incessant bickering and whining

and god damnit, i try to enjoy something
every once in a while
and something more irritating
is usually in the way

    you know, i’d rely on writing
    but for a while, i couldn’t even do that
and what do you have then?

i can feel it in my left ankle
like i can’t carrye weight like i could any longer
and my left knee keeps cracking and popping
and my sister says,
you know,
you’ve got the ’kuypers’ knees
and i guess the kuypers have bad knees
and i was always unaware of that

the knuckle in my right thumb
has been swollen for over a decade
and even the doctors can’t find anything wrong

and whenever i write
i grip the pen so tight
that my fingers hurt
and all i can feel
is the ache in my joints

III

and whenever i look down
and see the scars on my body
and i should be proud of some
and some would say that i should be proud
of surviving some traumas
and having the scars to prove it
but all i see are the scars
and all i feel are the aches and pains

is this what scars do to you?
or is it the memory
of surviving the trials
and getting the scars
and is THIS what you have to show
for everything you’ve done
are these your pins and military stripes
you get after you accomplished your goal?

because what do you do
when you’re retired
do people care about your medals of honor
or do you earn so many
that they just weight you down?


Copyright Janet Kuypers.
All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.

the 2007 cc&d v171.5 book Living in Chaos, with material from Janet Kuypers the book Oeuvre the CD set Live at the Cafe (3 CD set) the CD Questions in a World Without Answers

my hand to an anim of jkchair